Are pain and discomfort the same?
Pain is an alarm system. Physically, it draws attention to mechanical problems in your body. Emotionally it signals separation from your illusions.
Discomfort is part of a process. Learning is not a “comfortable” exercise, whether learning long division or to listen to others. The process demands you step head-long into your discomfort zone to push through fears of pain and the unknown.
Physical therapy literally does this. The only way to alleviate pain is to push up against it – to force it back until you liberate your mind and body from the fear, by implementing conscious discomfort.
Intellectually explore your discomfort zone.
Go out on a limb to test an idea. Push through the fear of ridicule to express and apply what you learn. That way, information is transformed into knowledge.
Emotionally explore your discomfort zone.
Let go of preconceptions to see others and situations as they are not as you would like them to be. It takes strength and effort to be vulnerable.
Explore your discomfort zone: observe your expectations.
Expectations are emotional entitlements we imagine that set us up for disappointment. Unlike goals and ambitions, they are not part of any plan. The only expectations that might be met are those we invest effort and discomfort in realizing.
If I expect something of you, but don’t communicate that, how can you meet my expectation? Common sense dictates that resulting disappointment is my own fault, so…
- Why do I feel “wronged” when others can’t conform to my expectations?
- Why am I so reluctant to express what I want?
- Why am I so afraid of my desires that I subconsciously guarantee disappointment by withholding information?
At work or school we expect our colleagues to acknowledge our contribution even though they may not know what that is.
At home we expect our loved ones to instinctively “know” what is important to us and why. That would be brilliant if it were possible.
Expectation of instinctive understanding is not the biggest problem.
The problem is how hurt we feel when those around us don’t “get” it. We are “sacrificing” ourselves for the team, company, or our loved ones but no one appreciates it.
See things from the others’ point of view. If you don’t communicate your wants or dreams, it is understandable that others think everything is “business as usual”. They don’t know how much time and energy you need to apply to those pursuits to feel happy. Tell them!
It is up to each of us to create a meaningful existence, and to share the fruits of our efforts. To that end the cliché “No Pain, No Gain” should step aside for: You are now entering Your Discomfort Zone!
Victoria Andre King is a freelance writer and audiovisual professional her novel The Führer Must Die is available for pre-orders and will be released on November 8th 2016 with Yucca Publications, an imprint of Sky Horse Publishing NYC.