Time and money are both very peculiar concepts. Neither is in reality something tangible. Bank notes and coins are to the concept of money what clocks and watches are to the concept of time – props in an abstract theatre of social agreement. The assignment of value can often be as erroneous as the assignment of blame – just a projection of subjectivity. I think I can understand now why Heraclitus spent the last years of his life laughing at everything and telling everyone “Love… Love” (Αγαπάτε…Αγαπάτε…), if you suddenly realize just how ridiculous most social canons are such a reaction is inevitable.
So here I am (and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one), dancing around in a vicious circle of frustration, because I never seem to have enough time or money. Never possessing a satisfactory quantity of two entirely intangible concepts is the epitome of absurdity, or at least it should be considered as such. So why do I do it? Why do I continue to piss and moan? What is it I REALLY mean when I pine for those elusive and incorporeal commodities?
“If only I had more money there are so many things I would do!” Such as? Maybe I need to focus on at least one of those “things” with serious intention, in order to allow the resources for its realization to materialize. If I won’t bother to invest the thought – I can’t expect others to invest the resources.
“I wish I had more time with my family.” But what time I do have I spend arguing with them about how little time I have, rather than making every effort for that time to be joyous so that ALL of us will work harder to eke out a bit more time for each other every day.
Maybe, if I remember to set human and humane priorities rather than a plethora of over ambitious goals that are physically impossible to reach simultaneously, time may not seem to fly by with such ruthless haste. If I allow myself to enjoy moments without succumbing to my ego’s insane efforts to make me feel guilty all the time for not being more “successful” or more “motivated”, I might just discover the inspiration that will provide the motivation that will make my efforts more effective in creating my own personal definition of success.
It just dawned on me that on August 17th my fledgling blog had its birthday. I haven’t been as active a fairy-blog-mother as I would have liked but I have managed to post at least one entry per month so I’m not going to start beating myself up about what could of or might have been. I think I’ll just be grateful that I have those posts as snapshots of my journey these last 12 months. What it is going to become when it grows up I have no idea.
Loss can make us appreciate some things more, but it is no guarantee that we will magically become “different” or “better” people. “Life changing” events do not necessarily bring about improvement and in some cases may actually reinforce existing fears, insecurities and prejudice. We are the artists that color our lives. Events may force us to pause occasionally but our circumstances and even the other people in our lives reflect OUR perception of the world, no one else’s.
To see the beauty is a conscious choice. To concentrate on the cultivation of a positive approach to daily life is an exercise in good health – sound mind, sound body. Why should we be so anxious to assign value to “things” when they only evoke a fleeting sense of satisfaction? Joy springs from allowing ourselves to fully experience the miracle of being alive. Time and money have their place, as props, but we mustn’t let those concepts direct the show!
Victoria Andre King is a freelance writer and audiovisual professional her novel The Führer Must Die is available for pre-orders and will be released on November 8th 2016 with Yucca Publications, an imprint of Sky Horse Publishing NYC.